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Introducing: Wenda's Wisdom

So you are planning an event, let's say a wedding, and your partner is not as helpful as you thought they would be -- what to do? This conundrum is very common and it boils down to two things: communication and expectations. Have you talked together with the to-do list in front of you and discussed the details, not just the title of the task, the details of who is to do what by when? What is it that might be a barrier to getting a task done? Fear. Nope, not asking here, I'm suggesting that fear is the biggest barrier to making any kind of change and taking on a new task. It's normal to feel nervous and even anxious about the wedding (feeling nervous about the marriage is another topic) and interestingly enough, sharing your feelings of nervousness typically helps them go away. Perhaps one of you is feeling a bit overwhelmed because it is such an important day and you don't want to disappoint your partner. Talk about that with love in your tone of voice and an open heart. You'll likely be amazed at the level of comfort you feel by just getting those feelings out. Start your sentence with, "I'm feeling..." and leave out any blaming or "you" statements. Just your feelings first. Think in terms of team problem-solving, what can WE do to make this better? It might be that you need to bring in some help with getting things done, who in your support circle can help you with your decisions or tasks? If you decide you need more people on your team to get everything done to meet your expectations, reach out to a professional planner.

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